A Tale Told by an Idiot, Full of Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing…

I’m no Photoshop wizard, let me tell you…

Well, it would seem that the political theater company caravan has finally started making moves. Who knows, maybe if you’re lucky they’ll come to your town, tailoring their stage productions for your local constituency, and further line their coffers with money that only costs the death of intellect. And even though they’re the ones committing the murder, the blood is on our hands. This is Shakespeare, as directed by some Michael Bay type figure, and we treat it as such; gnashing our teeth and spewing hatred as we line up to by a ticket for the show. In other words, we’re here for the spectacle, the large scale destruction, the easy to recognize archetypal characters. The plot? The story? Well that’s all a little too convoluted to actually pay attention to.

Yeah, those few viewers that are a little more discerning see the gross sub-text, the fetishizing of everything that’s shallow, vapid, and meaningless, but most people can’t see past the devastation; this is high level entertainment we’re talking about here. They wouldn’t spend all this money blowing shit up if it wasn’t worth it. They wouldn’t do all this for nothing… Right?

Last night’s first democratic debate(Thank you CNN, thank you Facebook, thank you corporate overlords.) was more of the same, unfortunately. More vague statements, more pointing out issues with no clear plans to fix them, more rhetoric basically. I can’t say that I’m really surprised, to be honest. It’s to be expected at this point, but even though the reality is a given, I’m never not disappointed. I try to come at these things with some form of optimism, only to have my cynical default attitudes reinforced again and again. It’s hard not to be that way when the bar for a “substantive” debate is as low as it is.

With every passing moment, with every self congratulatory bit of posturing, the old adage ” Politics is Hollywood for ugly people.” becomes all the more clear, and, unfortunately, real. They are all actors vying for accolades, reading from scripts that are designed to emotionally manipulate you. Is it any real surprise that the more of a brazen liar you are, the more popular you become? The more hollow your words, the louder the applause, or at least that’s how it would seem.

The democratic debate was particularly egregious in “not breaking from the script,” as not a single person there called anyone out on the the straight up lies they were touting. The most curious of all would be Clinton’s statements about Libya, and the lack of backbone shown by her peers and the moderators. The fact that she called it a “success” was particularly gross, and I sat there in total disbelief as not a single word of protest was uttered by anybody. Even the dude who was calling Hilary out on her voting record, when it came to surveillance and war, Lincoln Chaffe(A person I had previously never heard of, actually.), stood there with that dumb fucking look on his face and did nothing. NOT A FUCKING WORD. It’s an event that has had a domino effect in that part of the world that is only rivaled by our invasion of Iraq, and her role in the whole affair is pretty significant.

Martin “I’m In a Band” O’Malley, didn’t say much, honestly. Well, a lot of words came out of his mouth, but I’m not sure if they actually meant anything. To be fair, he could have been talking in some form of code, that could only be understood by people from Maryland. He wasn’t really trying to say anything, it would seem, and was much more interested in just asserting himself into the debate. Yeah, yeah, “clean grid energy, something, something,” I heard him… He is now polling at 3% instead of the lowly pre-debate number of 1%. I’m sure he’s hopeful that he’ll break into double digits by the year 2018. Whoever breaks the news to him, let him down gently, will you? My wife is from Maryland, and she would appreciate it. Thanks in advance.

Chaffe and Webb… Yeah…. Webb and Chaffe… Sounds like some kind of BBC comedy… They should go on the road together and put on performances of Neil Simon’s The Odd Couple. It could be fun. You never know.

Then that brings us to to the democrats Ron Paul equivalent, Bernie Sanders. You know, what I look for in any performance is sincerity, and I have to admit that I fully think that Sanders believes every word he says. For better or worse, It’s nice to see someone actually seems like they give a shit, beyond their political positioning. Yeah, I don’t agree with everything he says, especially his use of the word “socialism,” as I think he uses it more to appeal to a demographic than anything else. He’s talking about reforming croney capitalism, so it makes me feel like he uses it as a buzzword, and I find it unfortunate. I might have felt the bern otherwise.

I like a lot of what the guy says. His take on the evils of corporatism, the realities of people trying to earn a living wage in this country, the drug war… There’s a few other things, but he still ki9nd of fucks it all up when he panders to the current administration. How can you say your fighting the establishment with one corner of your mouth, and then kiss it’s ass with the other? Make no mistake about it, if you are in support of people that probably consider themselves career politicians, than you are supporting the establishment.

If anything though, Sanders is an excellent reminder of something that Old Ron Paul was a big proponent of: the importance of state’s rights. I haven’t been to Vermont in awhile, but from what I know about the state, in general, Bernie seems to be kind of the living personification of it’s ethos. And by that I mean hippie-ish, in case that wasn’t clear. You know, I would kind of like to live in Vermont, but I wouldn’t want the entire country to be like it. It’s a place that’s specific to it’s people, and it’s awesome that we can move from state to state and experience, ostensibly, different ways of life. We don’t have to travel to different countries to have varied experiences. It’s what makes America great, in my opinion. He has served that state’s needs well.

It was obvious soon after the debate that the media had all but declared their lord and savior Hilary the victor of the “debate.” They cited things like her not acting like a robot, her humor, her poise, and basically every other form of shallow affectation they could drum up in the seconds after the event had ended. Let’s be honest with ourselves here, it was always going to be this way. She’s the candidate. Go back and look at the media coverage surrounding Mitt Romney from 2012 and see the similarities. She’s the establishment’s choice, and if that doesn’t bother people at this point, I don’t know what to tell you. If you feel like this is a good thing, I have a question: How much of a Kool-Aid drinking asshole do you have to be to be this far gone, and what flavor is this Kool-Aid? I’m assuming it’s grape, which is the worst flavor, by the way. If it was some kind of cherry-limeade I might understand, but grape? No dice, people.

Well, another debate has passed, and it’s time for the caravan to move on. Who knows what glorious talking points will be checked off in the next one. Until then I’ll just sit here and be indignant about it all, knowing that my anger will have subsided by the next debate, and there I’ll be, watching it, knowing that it’s terrible, because giant fucking robots, you know?


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