I Watch TV Sometimes: ANCIENT ALIENS, Only The Most Tenuous Connections Need Apply…


For whatever reason, last night I watched me some Ancient Aliens! I know, I was a little weirded out by it my self, but one must struggle on through the weirdness, and experience things that make their brains hurt. You know what I’m saying? I’ve always had a fascination with the more extreme aspects of the universes historical narrative, and the lengths that folks go to make sense of the more “mysterious” aspects of our past, or present, for that matter. It made me think about other since gone cultures, like the Greeks and the Romans, and how they developed their own mythologies to explain the “unexplainable,” at the time, aspects of the elements and astrological events. By creating Gods and Goddesses that represented the different elements and some aspects of human nature, they made it relatable to any old joe. Sure, they had supernatural powers, but all of their motivations are most definitely born out of recognizable aspects of human nature. Things like greed, jealousy, love, anger, and so on, and so forth. Even how Christianity posits the necessity of Jesus being a man, we can see echoes of this thought process. If memory serves me correct, Jesus had to be a man so that men could tangibly grasp the idea of God. If God was a character that would be his motivation. Jesus as a man, brings men closer to God, and closes the “celestial” gap, if you will.

As humans, we just have to “know,” because the idea of the unknown is a terrifying concept to most. You can’t account for something you don’t understand, you can’t prepare for the unknown, and you are left vulnerable, a disposition that nobody really likes. vunerableIt makes me think of the dark specter like shadow that the very idea of “terrorism,” foreign or domestic, casts. It’s posed in such a way to keep people terrified, because the way they present the very idea is firmly in the unknown. They are, for lack of a better term, “boogeymen,” almost like some modern supernatural force, and at any moment they could “get you.” There’s isn’t a lot of contextualizing going on in how the media discusses terrorism. So, we never really fully grasp this fringe global societal sect, and then begin to create a reality based on theories and assumptive thinking. By taking this approach, what you end up with, inevitably, is so far removed from reality that it could almost be considered fantasy. Enter Ancient Aliens.

It’s these types of “reasoning” that seem to be indicative of how people have come up with the ideas that are presented in the series Ancient Aliens. There is some really bat-shit crazy stuff being said on this program, but the most shocking part of it is how lazy their theories are. ancient egyptian technologyWell, at least in the more recent episodes. There was a time that Ancient Aliens could really be informative, in terms of ancient technologies, and the ancients impressive knowledge of astrology. Yeah, they would wrap it around to asserting that the reason some of these ancients civilizations, mostly Egyptian, were so advanced for their time was aliens, but it did go in depth with how these things were actually used in their time. It was fascinating, and the alien stuff was more of a laughable foot-note to the real information that was provided than anything else, really. There was an aspect of the show that really made you want to believe what they were saying. If for no other reason than it would make existence more interesting, and their was actual effort put into the discussion. Not so much nowadays, and it seems to be directly speaking to people that already believe in this stuff.

I watched two of the more recent episodes last night, and while it was kind of funny, they don’t even try to give any type of argument that would conceivably support the statements they make. Well, not any that actually make any sense. Rameses-III-ISISThey do things like show you a painting, or a mural from any given time period, and then assert that it proves that these ancient peoples were documenting their contact with aliens. As opposed to, I don’t know, having imaginations, and inserting fantastical elements into their renditions. Especially, the works coming out of the hay-day of ancient Egypt. A lot of the royalty of the period, did in fact believe they were Gods, so, in my opinion, it makes sense that they would commission works of art that posited them in this way, and even if they weren’t commissioned, surely artists of the period would have engaged in these types of royal representations, because the society at large was told these kind of things about their leaders. This simple logical assumption has no room in the hearts and minds of the pundits on Ancient Aliens. No, they’d rather assume that a picture of some type of winged person, standing next to Anubis, is clearly evidence of aliens visiting ancient people. Like I said before, they discount the idea of people having imaginations, and artistic interpretation. Does this mean that when artists from Greece created paintings of the Gods, that they were too aliens, or were real? The fact that they make these types of assumptions isn’t wrong on a fundamental level, but the fact that this is where their discussion stops is. Well, I suppose in this context my usage of the word “problem” is pretty much the definition of relative.

In my opinion the craziest part of this show isn’t actually the presented theories, but the fact that the people that they get to discuss these ideas don’t come off as “crazy people.” In fact most of them are scientists and doctors of some type. I don’t know, maybe being as far down the rabbit hole as they are “objectivity” gets lost somewhere. Tin_foil_hat_2No matter what your thesis, if you cherry pick information, you can prove almost anything. It’s all about how narrow you can make the perspective. So much for expert opinion, eh? I find it baffling that they speak with such confidence and authority, but I guess how else would you sell your speculative, not backed up by anything books? It reminds of the whole “doomsday” market that’s grown out of public paranoia of terrorists, or government takeover. They just keep pumping out “ideas,” and “theories” to prop up a new profitable business model. Or how gun manufacturers have been making money hand over fist since the national debate of banning guns started. They attempt to provide solutions, and information, because, like I said before, people can’t handle the specter of the unknown. The thing is, they are creating the atmosphere, and then profiting off of gullible people, and their fear. I mean, yeah, that’s just like most things that are put out there, I suppose. We are constantly sold things on the basis that the products will keep us safer, or, in a really weird promotional assertion, that it will make you a better person. Even when their theories are completely debunked, they brush it off, and say things like “That’s, like, your opinion, man. If you don’t ‘believe’ then you’ll never see it, bro.” Yeah, that’s a joke I just made, but the real funny thing is that that’s almost a verbatim response that I heard while surfing the bowels of YouTube.

Whose really to blame here, though? Can you blame crazy people for making money off of their crazy ideas? No, not really, in my opinion. history_channel_logoThere’s obviously a market for it out there, but I find it odd that the fact this stuffed is blasted across The History Channel doesn’t give at least some contingent of this audience pause.  Seriously, what do they think? Are they just happy that their beliefs are becoming more mainstream? If I were a “believer” I would find it disconcerting. If the information is being presented on a basic cable channel, and has a show that is entirely dedicated to the subject, I would probably start to question it’s validity just for the fact that they are constantly trying to sell me books that, just like the show, tell me the same thing over and over again. Although, if this stuff ends up being true, The History Channel is going to probably have the last laugh. A laugh so intense that life across the entire galaxy will be effected.

I’ve always enjoyed watching these kind of shows. It started back when I was a kid, and would religiously watch Histories Mysteries, back when The History Channel relegated it’s crazier content to a weekly hour. It’s fun to think about things from different perspectives, however crazy they are. Sometimes, you might even learn something. A lot of “crazy stuff” will usually have some elements of it’s foundation that are based in reality. Ultimately, crazy theories are born out of a desire to further understand the universe we live in. However silly they seem, I’ll still give an earnest listen. I’ve never heard anything that has convinced me, but I keep an open mind. I like the fact that people are out there, making the world a funner place to live. I do take a wee bit of umbrage of how it’s used to exploit the more gullible folks in society, but honestly, it’s kind of their own fault. Anyways, I don’t know why I wrote this. Just kind of felt like writing, and these are some of the thoughts that were knocking around the ol’ noggin’ last night. So, there you go.

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