So, I recently went on a journey, of sorts. An odyssey, if you will. I spent the past few days watching two entire seasons of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Needless to say, I’m now completely qualified to talk about equality. All different types of equality. Equality of mind, spirit, and marriage. Equality! Equality! Equality!(I really do have to apologize, but another consequence of watching that much of Rupaul’s Drag Race, in that short amount of time, is that it makes one pretty “sassy.” I’ve been to the doctor about this, obviously, and he said the effects should wear off in 48-72 hours. I would like to thank you for all of the thoughts and prayers you are undoubtedly sending my way at this difficult time. Thank you, again.) You see, the above image started appearing all across social networking sites–like some sort of “red equal sign plague”– in the past few days. At first, I honestly had no idea what it meant. I knew that it made my Facebook feed look pretty color coordinated.That’s not necessarily a good thing though(SEE?). I mean, yeah, sometimes uniformity can look nice, but whatever. I pretty much just dismissed it as another internet meme that I don’t care about, or have time for. Seriously, with the amount of these things that pop up on a weekly basis, who has the time for it? Who wants to have time for it? (Please, let me know who you are so I can avoid ever talking to you again.) A few hours later I found out what it was, and you know what? My initial assessment held up. Under what kind of scrutiny? Well, by a committee of my appointment. (I don’t see what the problem is.)
Over the past few days the supreme court has been deliberating the different facets of gay marriage. They’ve been hearing testimony from both sides of the debate. One side say’s that penis’ should only be used in congruence with a women’s vagina( And sometimes their butts. We’ve all had that much to drink, and honestly it’s not even that much, but you have to justify it some how.). At no time should a penis rub up against another penis, unless of course you’re playing swords, and both of the penis rubbers are yelling “No homo” as loud as they can, over and over again. I mean that’s just common sense. So, I’m sorry if that explanation felt unnecessary( I’m not really sorry, bitches. You love it.) The other side says that penis’ should be free to rub up against each other whether or not anyone is yelling “No homo,” and also there is a lot more entrance into butts with less alcohol involved, or at least I’d imagine so.(Hey! I didn’t forget gay women! You just didn’t let me get there. God… Calm the fuck down.) Also, gay women, otherwise as known “lesbians,” like to rub their vaginae up against each other, or sometimes strap on penis like devices. Apparently, all of that stuff somehow fulfills apocalyptic prophecy, and people are terrified, let me tell you. They are so scared that they have no choice, but to make signs and stand outside of public buildings, because that’s how you fight the evil of what people do in the privacy of their own homes. Also, being as rude and hateful as possible is the good christian thing to do. Well, at least according to the opinions of people that I heard when I was in a place that I will not be disclosing at this time for fear of legal repercussions(It was Publix, a local grocery. A “grocery” is a place where you can buy food to stuff your face with…. Usually, they also carry toiletries.). Here’s the thing though. All the things I just described have literally nothing to do with what the supreme court is talking about. They’re talking about whether homosexuals should have the legal right to acquire a marriage license… Also fulfilling apocalyptic prophecy, of course, that just goes without saying. So, what you get is a semantic debate on what the “definition” of marriage is. Opponents of homosexual marriage feel like it is defined as an act between a man and a women, and only a man and a women. As soon as men and men, or women and women try too, people start losing their minds, because if they were able to jointly file taxes that would be insane. Pro homosexual marriage folks say that it’s a human rights issue, and that not allowing a “couple of queers”(Your words. Not mine.) is a form of oppressing a minority group, and is basically super mean(My words. Not Yours). So, that’s why this “equality symbol” has been making our social networking feeds look like it’s breaking out. You know, to create awareness. Awareness of the fact that they are aware. Many mental “patting of one’s own back” occurred, or so I have been made aware… More on that later, young rapscallions.
You know, I’ve been really disappointed in my generation. This “debate” has been going on for awhile, and it’s been picking up steam and more attention as of late.(What do I find disappointing? Hold on a second. Jesus…) Why hasn’t the real issue been taken on in any real way. Why does the government, on any level, have a say on who marries who? I mean really. That seems like the obvious argument that we should be having. Let’s put this system of law on trial. Let the burden of proof fall on them. Let the government tell us why they get to have this great honor. Why are they an authority on this matter? That would be crazy though. No, we would much rather engage in fighting moral imposition with moral imposition. Which is a form of oppression, by the way, just on the opposite end of the spectrum. You may feel like your position is the more “righteous” of these different opinions, but that’s exactly how people on the opposing side feel. Makes sense, right(Or are you just an idiot?)? So, you want fight oppression by becoming the oppressor? What?(Don’t look at me…) Yeah, I get that may seem like an extreme way to put it, but when you get down to the nitty gritty that’s what it is. You can’t force people to accept things just because you feel like you’re more right than they are. I agree, gay people should be able to make an official commitment to one another if they so choose, because that’s what marriage really is at the end of the day(Even if people treat it like it doesn’t mean anything more than if they were dating some one.) Marriage is a legally binding contract. A contract that could be written up with out the state/federal governments permission. In other words, tell the government to get the fuck away from your ability to commit to your loved one. In the same way that pro gay marriage folks are of the opinion that the current way marriage is handled, from a legal perspective, is archaic and misguided, maybe just the whole government being involved at all is archaic and misguided. I mean, come fucking on already. Let’s stop all this “line in the sand” bull shit, and just realize we’re all in the shit together, and the more “lines” we draw the more separate we actually become. It stops us from actually having conversations. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person, and stand for what’s right, not for what everyone else is doing, because they are followers. Think for yourselves. It’s a thing, you know. Speaking of mindlessly following others…
Let’s talk about this “equality sign” business, shall we? Now, I’m sure everyone that posted this symbol knows where it comes from and the affiliation it carries, but I really love being redundant, and that’s probably not true(I mean, why would anyone look into something before aligning themselves with it?), which is kind of sad. I f one were to do a quick Bing search(HAHA! No, I used Google. It was a good laugh though.) you would find out that it’s from an organization called Human Rights Campaign, or the HRC, if you are so inclined. They basically are an advocate group that works on the behalf(You know, whether you want them to or not.) of the LGBT community. The thing is they don’t advocate for all of the LGBT community. Just ones that meet their criteria. This would exclude republicans(They exist. Weird maybe, but they exist. Just like jewish christians. Like I said, weird, but true.), or low income folks. They’ve come under considerable scrutiny over the past few years for playing politics, and only going where the money is. Like, when they honored Goldman Sach’s with it’s 2011 Most Diverse Company Award, or some shit like that. So, you know, there you go. They’ve openly attacked members of the LBGT community that have not supported them by making wild accusations and calling them “self hating.” Just like all organizations, like unions and such, they start from a place of wanting to do good and make change, but as soon as politics and money get involved parts of human nature start to dictate things. Like greed, and being a dick. They may seem like a positive “do gooder” group on the outside, but they are actually pretty hateful if you look into some of their practices(They also promote the “line in the sand” mentality that I mentioned earlier. Which I fucking hate.). So, by using their imagery you are promoting their organization whether you’re aware of where it comes from or not. They will actually use this event to promote their exclusionary(If you’re not with us, then we’ll try to fucking ruin you!)ideology. They’ve done it in the past to make themselves seem like a larger group than they actually are. Aligning myself with that would make me feel pretty uncomfortable, but that’s just me. There is literally thousands of “well meaning” idiots who will let their HRC approved symbol of tolerance fly, because what’s the point of feeling passionately about something for upwards of 2-3 weeks without letting everyone know about it(Joseph Kony? Man, that was cray-cray! Here’s an update for ya!). I’m glad that everyone was able to come out and show their support on the day of the supreme court hearing because they saw it on the news or someone else’s status update. You should give yourselves a round of applause. What’s that? Oh, you already did.
There’s a weird trend that’s been going on for the past few years, or at least that I’ve noticed for the past few years, that somehow espousing your opinion over social networking sites carries some type of weight. That letting your friends know that you are “aware,” some how equals doing something. Listen, I’m aware of your awareness, and I know that’s partially the point. That’s not issue. The issue is, at least one of them anyways, when we use these things to become indignant and self righteous. Intolerant, if you will. Being intolerant of intolerance is still intolerance. You could, I don’t know, not engage in the same type of behavior you accuse others of. Right? Yeah, it sounds crazy, but it is an option that’s out there for you. Just saying. I can’t help but think that people engage in this stuff just to pat themselves on the back. It’s just like they do it to feel like they are “part of something,” or “down with the movement.” Being part of an oppressed group or “fighting” against something makes us feel better about ourselves because of it’s romantic connotation(Thanks Paul!). We would all like to be part of some grand heroic gesture, and we trick ourselves into thinking doing this stuff makes that an applicable description. It’s not though. In fact, you are potentially doing more harm than good. You’re turning serious social issues into internet memes. The thing about internet memes are that they are disposable. What am I talking about? Check this out!
This is just a smattering of HRC approved “equality signs” taken from their homepage. Well, right after a pop-up asking you to donate appears that is(Might as well get what they want from you right up front in a passive aggressive manner. It’s just better that way.) The “equality signs” are meant to make you go “Hey, look at that! That’s so me!” or maybe you just find the original one to be unsightly and unfashionable. Which would be totally okay, because they have your back(Oh boy, do they ever!)on that front(Also, this…do they ever.). Don’t let the pesky definition of solidarity get in your way! Why bother yourself with all that business. You’re too unique and witty for that clap-trap! Or so you think. Hypothetically, if I were one to engage in this kind of “awareness/solidarity/bullshit,” I would be pretty upset at the fact that people can’t even hang on to one unified symbol. It makes you look like a bunch of narcissists that aren’t taking it as seriously as you claim. Yeah, I get that we all “know what you mean,” but the “equality sign” that’s made up of Yorkies(Whom I assume are gay, obviously.) is just a tad hard to take seriously.
My favorite part of being critical of these movements(You know, having your own opinion.) is the response one gets. If they’re a straight person, they usually lead by telling you how many gay friends they have, like a hungover frat boy telling you how many drinks he had the night before(Okay, okay… I had like six daiquiris, four shots of Absolute, two Appletinis, and of course, YAGER BOMBS, YAGER BOMBS, YAGER BOMBS! ). They tell you this bit of unsolicited information, because somehow( Probably through the magic one attains only after they have befriended “a gay.”) it legitimizes whatever is about to come out of their mouths next. This relationship makes them more right. It’s hard for me not to get a little snarky when people throw out this information. “You know gay people!? Holy shit! Hey, now you just need a couple of blacks, some hispanics, maybe a middle easterner or two(The middle eastern friend will score you HUGE equality points right now for obvious reasons.), and you’d have damn near the whole set!” Yeah, I know, I can be a dick sometimes, but so can you. Don’t forget that. A person of the “homo persuasion” will usually talk down to me “Because you’re not gay. So, you don’t understand,” which is code for “You don’t absolutely agree with me. So, I’m not going to pay attention with what you have to say.” I’ve seen the “equality sign” around a bunch, but not posted by any homosexuals(Well, I can’t say that for sure. Everyone has secrets, dog.). Unfortunately, this is where the actual substance of what they’re saying stops. They’re not very solid positions, and it shows that you don’t care about the actual issues, but that you only care that people know that you care. Like I said, I’m aware of your awareness. So, enough already. Stop just arbitrarily aligning yourself with weird political groups by posting these images. Don’t engage in weird “self back patting.” Care about it for more than the few days the attention span of the internet allows. I know it’s hard, but I have faith in you.
At the end of the day, I care about equality. Not equality for a specific sub-group, just equality. People Equality. Telling everyone about where you stand on the day of the supreme court hearing isn’t going to really do a hell of a lot. You’re kind of late to the party(It was fabulous, by the way.). The fact that people are throwing so much attention to this thing is further legitimizing this archaic way of “defining marriage.” When we found out about the supreme court hearing we should have just said “Fuck Off,” and went about our day. If this is an issue you actually care about, like you’ll still care in a few days. Start petitions. Write your senators and congressman. Make your voices heard. Talk about the real issues, and do it all without the sanctimony. It doesn’t help anyone. Lead by setting an example. Be the bigger person. There is no reason you can’t. It doesn’t mean that you should let bigots walk all over you. No, but if you listen to what they have to say, you can actual formulate a substantive argument against what they’re saying if you disagree. It’s way better than just saying “Your wrong”, then pouting and walking away, because you’re doing the exact same thing they do.
You’re probably saying to yourself “But Shaun, aren’t you engaging in the same type of shit you are calling out, dog?” Okay, maybe a little, but at least I spent the time to write this long winded explanation of my feelings. So there. Like I said before, I’ve watched a lot of RuPaul’s Drag Race over the past few days. So, that pretty much makes me the most tolerant person you know, or have experienced(Because it has been an experience. Your welcome, by the way.) I would like to leave you with this special photo, that I took not just for you, but for everyone. Whatever your race, creed, and yes, sexual persuasion, I offer you this gift.